June 18, 2020
I have a confession: I’m back on to self-helpy type books.
With not much else to do, I’ve decided that quarantine is the summer of ‘me’, and I’m going to get all my self help out of the way so I can finally be a self-actualized and functioning human being.
If you’ve been following along, you may have picked up on the fact that I have some confidence issues. Fear not, dear reader! I am *mostly* past it.
Sometimes you have to breeze through a few books and Youtube videos to find a nugget of gold (or a bread crumb) to completely change your perspective and put you back on the right path. I gleaned such a nugget from watching a Youtube channel called Charisma on Command.
Typically, things like ‘how to influence people and win over friends yada yada etc’ make me feel yucky inside. I’m not trying to manipulate people into liking me, I just want to not be a ball of anxiety! But luckily, Charisma on Command draped me with a warm blanket of love and self acceptance, and this is what I learned:
People don’t judge you on your flaws, they judge you on how you feel about your flaws.
Clearly, I’ve been going things very wrong (and I say that with all of my self-acceptance and love).
So many years of trying to achieve perfection to have a protective ‘shield’. I could have circumvented a lot of pain, money, and time if I just accepted myself and my flaws.
I feel so relieved.
No one can use my flaws against me if I’m okay with my flaws. In fact, now I know I can lean into my flaws, and everyone will just have a giggle about them! (Just look at Jack Black. He LEANS so hard into his ‘flaws’ and he is hilarious!)
My friends often comment on how early I go to sleep. I LOVE to sleep. And I never gave a flippity flip about what anyone thought about my grandma bedtime, because I know I need a solid 9 hours to maintain my pleasant demeanor. It’s kind of a running joke now (at least I think it is, if not sorry not sorry and I’m going to keep going to bed at 10PM anyway :))))
If I felt sensitive about my need for slumber, it might be a different story. But I’ve accepted that I need some gosh darn sleep and my friends have too. Yay!
If I can apply the same conviction I have for sleeping to other aspects of my life, I’ll be good to go! Stay tuned for more confidence nuggets throughout the ‘summer of me’.